


Pete Wentz Is Being Personally Attacked

by Imonagoodmixture



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Pete Wentz - Fandom, Ryan Ross - Fandom, Ryden - Fandom, brendon urie - Fandom, patrick stump - Fandom, petetrick - Fandom
Genre: Crack, M/M, Multi, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz - Freeform, Petetrick - Freeform, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie - Freeform, Ryden, Zberg - Freeform, crackfic, fall out boy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imonagoodmixture/pseuds/Imonagoodmixture
Summary: AU Sense8 Bandom Crackfic.Disclaimer: This is a crackfic so it definitely is NOT REAL. THIS IS NOT REAL. JUST A CRACKFIC that I own nobody in.





	Pete Wentz Is Being Personally Attacked

"Ryan. Ryan Ross!"

Ryan flinched at Pete's tone when he answered his phone.

"Pete, what?" He asked carefully, muting the tv and sitting up straighter on the couch in he and Brendon's living room.

"Tell Zee to get off her fucking period!"

"What?!"

Oh. That would explain Pete being this irritable and angry. Zee must have been inadvertently tapping into his brain this week.

"You heard me! Tell Zee to get off her period! I am being personally attacked!" Pete nearly yelled back.

"Pete," Ryan said slowly, "I don't think she can control that shit."

"Ryan."

"I can't do anything about that. And Zee would rip my head off if I told her to get off her period."

"Well, she needs to stop sending it to me. This the third time in a row!" Pete snapped.

"Maybe you guys are just more connected or something," Ryan suggested.

"That's bullshit! I am being personally attacked, Ryan. And you know it. You and Zee are way closer."

"Yeah?" Ryan was done with this shit. "I'm personally attacked all the time by Patrick."

His reply seemed to piss Pete off even more. 

"You're insane. In what way is Patrick attacking you?! He's the nicest person in the entire damn universe!"

"Well, it's really, really annoying and gross to see you both going at it when I am trying to go see a movie with Brendon or I don't know, eat!"

"What?!" Ryan heard Patrick, who sounded completely and totally horrified, demand in the background. "Pete I swear I'm not doing that on purpose!"

Pete ignored both of them and continued right on with raving vehemently at Ryan. "You know what else is gross, Ryan?! Zee fucking making me so bloated that I can't take a shit!"

"Okay. That's disgusting. That was really too much information."

"Shut the fuck up Ryan. I'm dying. And maybe you should stop tapping into Patrick's brain at inappropriate fucking times!"

"Have you lost your fuckin' mind?! You think I'm the one tapping into his brain?!"

"Well, I'm not tapping into yours and fucking showing you that shit!" Patrick cut Ryan off but Ryan just cut him off again before he could continue.

"You think I want to see all that?! Do you think I want to hear "Come on fucker!" and see all your personal shit?! I really don't Pete."

"Tell Zee to get off her period," Pete repeated acidly.

"You fucking tell Zee to get off her period. We'll get her on Skype right now. Your funeral Pete. Seriously, get off the phone and get on Skype. I'll wait."

Pete hung up the phone that second. Ryan was sure that was the end of it and he laid back down on the sofa to get comfortable but no, around two minutes later, his laptop was ringing and he was getting a call on Skype.

"Really?" He asked. He almost rolled his eyes at Pete but thought better of it. He had made that mistake with Zee once.

"Get. Zee."

"Pete. You've lost your damn mind. She is gonna murder us both."

"Just get her. I have to get rid of this shit. I'm dying. I don't think you understand Ryan."

"What the hell is wrong with Pete?" Brendon asked as he walked into the living room and over to Ryan to sit next to him. "I heard you yelling, Ry."

"Pete has Zee's period and he also has a deathwish apparently."

"Ah," Brendon said, sitting and practically pulling Ryan into his lap.

Ryan wasn't complaining as Brendon wrapped his arms around his middle. He didn't mind. Sitting with his boyfriend like that was better than talking to Pete right now.

"Can get her on Skype for me since Ryan too much of a little asshole to do it?"

"Zee is gonna murder all three of us," Ryan warned him again. But Pete was refusing to listen.

"Yeah, and I am gonna come over there and throw up all over everything if you keep stalling, Ryan. I'm literally dying and you're sitting there in domestic bliss."

"Alright. Okay." Ryan gave in. "But you're gonna regret it. And you're talking to her."

"Whatever."

Ryan started a group call between himself, Pete, and Zee. When Zee answered and appeared on the webcam she was washed out with sleep and cramps and her bedroom curtains were shut.

"Ryan. What do you want? I was fucking sleeping."

Ryan looked directly at Pete's webcam square. "Pete."

"Zee. Are you on your period?" Pete was clearly trying to keep his voice normal. Her expression was not inviting or one to challenge.

"No. I only ate my body weight in fucking salt and dessert for no reason at all. Fucking hell Pete. Of course, I'm on my period right now. Can you not tell? Why the hell would wake me up? Stupid fucking men-"

"Can you get off of it?"

Zee's brown eyes turned venomous. Her glare could have turned both Pete and Ryan to stone. "Can I what?!" 

"Okay... Sorry, Zee." Pete apologized cautiously but her face didn't change at all. "Sorry. But you're kind of giving it to me right now and this is the third damn time in a row. So could you maybe please stop tapping into me?"

"Pete. I get this shit every month. I'm supposed to worry about you now-"

"I've been getting it every month because of you!" Pete argued back and Ryan was sure Zee was going to find a way to get herself through the computer screen and that it was gonna get violent.

"At least you aren't gushing blood! Do you know how much blood I've lost?! Get a fucking grip and go take some caffeine pills or something and go to fucking bed! Don't fucking call me again Pete, I swear. I'm going to sleep for a week so you better leave me alone and deal. That goes for you too Ryan!"

Zee's webcam space went dark and her screen name offline.

"Um." Ryan wasn't sure how to respond to what just happened. He leaned against Brendon who was stroking his stomach affectionately. "That was better than I would have expected Pete. She didn't find a way to murder you through your computer screen."

"Patrick," Pete said, turning to him.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm gonna need you to dig my grave and call my family because this is how I die. I will not survive this week."


End file.
